December 2011
31 posts
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BUS YOUR OWN TRAY: Angeleno-to-English Dictionary:... →
spiegelman:
“I’ll be there in 5.” — It will take me 10 minutes to get there, then another 5 to 10 to find parking, plus I’m not leaving for 5 minutes.
“I’m in traffic.” — I haven’t left yet.
“I’m around the corner.” — I’m in traffic.
“It’ll take me 20 minutes to get there.” — (irregular) It’ll take me 20…
1 tag
Married Life is Awesome?
Lilani: your thank you card did not have a little picture of us did it?
me: it did not
Lilani: guess what we talked about over dinner...
this is married life.
RIVETING.
Lilani: "Did Drea receive it?"
"Did she read it?"
"Then she didn't need your calligraphy on the envelope."
"But what about these?!"
(throws little pictures in the air)
me: HAHAHAHA
Lilani: (silent husband)
"Oh...well...can you just send her one?"
Lilani: and apparently we are done.
with thank you cards.
to quote him, "I want them to get their thank you cards before jesus resurrects."
which of course confused the shit out of me.
"before easter?!"
riley thinks we're crazy.
this is our family.
but we are done before jesus was even born
and before marry and joseph even found their motel in bethlehem.
“I contacted him on Facebook and we exchanged flirty messages back and forth, the...”
– — Apocalypstick
Been there.
Sometimes it's hard to tell who's mentoring who.
Andrea: "I used to have all the disposable money. Now I just have a cute car and a really hot ass."
Anna Bernice: "Your hot ass should be riding in someone else's car. ONE OR THE OTHER, DREA. SACRIFICES."
“This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can...”
– Relevant magazine
(via lizlemon)
Do You Ever Feel Like a Plastic Bag? -... →
“Contrary to what you’d think, it rarely feels good to feel right.
It’s like, this is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. How did I get here? Where are my keys? I lost my phone.
The easiest thing to do in this situation is to take a deep breath and say, happily, “I don’t give a fuck.” Look at your watch and realize that it’s I Don’t Care O’clock. It’s freeing.”
Watchryori-doga:
Recipe: Marshmallows (by Cathy Merenda)
This video does no justice to how Actually Terrifying it is to make marshmallows from scratch in your own home. Notice how they edited out the adding of the vanilla, which is actually very scary. Scary, but rewarding. Maybe I’ll make some marshmallows again soon.